Now, everyone in my orientation group is attached. Except. Me.
Don't get me wrong. I'm happy for them and all that. Just sad for me.
While I'm trying to be all happy and funny and lighthearted in front of everyone, I must admit I'm bloody raging inside.
You would be, after the girl you liked in high school freaked when she found out about it. When you don't get to say goodbye at the end of high school and you waste 2 years of your life wondering what the hell went wrong. When, just as you find out she's attached and are feeling like total crap, you find someone you think you can get it right with and... find out she's attached. And after trying to be friends with that person, she weirds out on you and throws all the shit you've gone through back in your face. And she makes sure to be seen with her boyfriend whenever you're around, and they do their fucking PDAs right in front of you, and you see her smirking at you. All the while having to listen to your friends around you talk about their boyfriends and girlfriends and wedding rings and wedding dresses and FUCKOFF FOR FUCK'S SAKE GEEZ. Except, I can never bring myself to do the last part.
You know what's one of the most fucked up things? Whatever I do, however I change, I can never escape being branded the "nerd". When I was weaker than the jocks, I was pathetic. When I toughened up and outran them regularly, I was a freak. When I was shy and withdrawn, I was a nobody. When I opened my mouth, I had to shut up.
Fuck this shit. Love may be great for you, but don't go yakking about how fucking fan-fuck-tastic it is to me, because to me - it FUCKING ISN'T.